Should Women Receive Mother’s Day Gifts… Even If They Aren’t Mothers?

Should Women Receive Mother’s Day Gifts… Even If They Aren’t Mothers?

Mom Jeanine
May 3, 2012

13 Comments »

Tags:
Good Question, hot topic, Jeanine Edwards, Mother's Day

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Seriously. Over the weekend, I overheard a woman going on and on about what she wanted for Mother’s Day. Diamond earrings, a few hours at the spa and a nice dinner out. Except for one small detail–she didn’t have any kids! I almost fell out of my chair when the lady she was with asked, “Your husband does all that and you guys don’t even have kids yet?”

Apparently, her and her husband have an agreement that because she could theoretically have kids, she should get a Mother’s Day present. Is it just me or is that a little… weird?

I don’t mean to sound exclusionary, but it’s Mother’s Day not Women’s Day, right? I mean, she has never stayed up all night with a sick kid or had to sacrifice, well, anything because she couldn’t get a sitter. Mother’s Day is all about saying thanks for those sacrifices. Except, she hasn’t had to make them. So are those diamond earrings like, “Thanks in advance?”

Don’t get me wrong–I’m not a big Mother’s Day mom myself. I’d rather go all out for my own mom than spend my time making a list of what I want. And a lot of the moms I know are fine with breakfast in bed and a break from the daily routine on Mother’s Day. (And yes, a massage would be nice!) I don’t know if I was more struck about how hung up this lady was on Mother’s Day or the fact that she was so hung up on it and didn’t even have kids!

What do you think? Did you receive Mother’s Day gifts before you had kids? Should women without kids receive Mother’s Day presents? Share in the comments.

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Comments

  • Helen Williams Chaffins
    May 3, 2012

  • Normally I’ll give people some leeway but that is just disgusting, greedy, and offensive.

  • Katie
    May 3, 2012

  • I mean this is a little ridiculous. But maybe she’s on to something….

    I feel like I deserve a present for that agonizing monthly reminder that i COULD one day be a mother. I mean, that is a pain no man will ever experience and for that they should give us all presents. All. The. Time.

  • Shari
    May 3, 2012

  • Well….does he give her a present for Grandparent’s Day? Maybe that might put it more in perspective….being called a Grandma! I think this is ridiculous and like Helen says….GREEDY and OFFENSIVE. Why don’t we just create a Happy Period Day each month….at least that would be more accurate.

  • Laura
    May 3, 2012

  • I don’t think gifts should be given to someone who isn’t a mother. What if that person doesn’t even want children! Mothers I’ve up so much and a woman who has not experienced that really doesn’t deserve to be celebrated. Quite right, it is not ‘woman’s day’. This is just another way for people to get a gift.

  • Jessie
    May 3, 2012

  • Yes, every woman should receive a mother’s day gitt… she may be a mum of a cat or a puppy or whatever but all women should be celebrated on this day and if the gift is unwanted they can pass it to a mum who may appreciated it more or to their own mother

  • Shari
    May 3, 2012

  • Jessie, then do all men get gifts on Father’s Day too? I’m sorry, but I don’t think women give birth to cats and puppies last time I checked.

  • Betty B.
    May 3, 2012

  • Theoretically a 12 could have a child doesn’t mean they get a present for mothers day that’s just ridiculous

  • Miranda Rasmussen
    May 3, 2012

  • Ummm…. no. Personally, to celebrate Mother’s Day, you need to be a MOTHER to a human. You can be an adoptive mother, a foster mother or a biological mother. But just because you have eggs and are fertile, does not give you the right to try to steal our 1 Hallmark day.

  • Maris
    May 3, 2012

  • Maybe she really wishes she were a mom and hasn’t been able to have kids yet. Really, why should anyone else care what moms or non moms (or their significant others) do on Mothers Day? Be thankful for your children and get off other people’s cases. Because yes, you do sound exclusionary.

  • Shari
    May 3, 2012

  • Maris….I wish a was a millionaire…but that doesn’t make me one.

  • stephanie hodges
    May 4, 2012

  • A typical non mother or spoiled one that doesn’t mother their child as much will wish for expensive luxury items. (case in point with the non-childless gift receiver)

    While a typical mother who raises their kids will wish for a bath alone, dishes to be done, breakfast or dinner be made by someone else but her, a card from the child/ren even though she will later clean up the paint or the rubbed crayons in the carpet….list goes on with the little things that true moms appreciate and do each and everyday.

    The man is an idiot. He doesn’t even have a chain to run out and bark on. He sits right at her side and she yanks to choke anytime he whines. Just like comedian Ron White says “Diamonds. That will shut her up”……

    Just another day a person will find to get something from. Holidays are no different. People lose the meaning of the holiday in the mix of the sale items and fake characters that has no relation to the holiday itself (Easter Bunny, Santa Clause) etc.

    ONLY time I think there is a slight exception is when a mother has lost her child and the father gives a special reminder she is still a mommy of a baby/child who has passed on. My sister was one of them and I knew many who received cards, flowers and little cute reminders of the little one that passed away.

    But this woman is using the “I can produce eggs and potentially get pregnant” routine as an excuse. Nope. I agree with a few others. She should get recognized on grandparents day and he should recognize on father’s day right? ugh. Its all about greed, espcially if the person wants luxury spoiled items and not appreciate what true mothers would request in reality.

  • Susan
    May 5, 2012

  • I know people that haven’t had kids and didn’t want any who were given gifts by their husbands. I think it’s kind of an insult to all of us that have worked hard raising our children and supporting our husbands to celebrate with those who chose not to have children. It’s the children that are the real gifts and celebrate their mothers anyway. Why should the husband go to all that trouble for a wife who doesn’t even chose to have children or his children for that matter? Nothing is owed to any of us for having children. We chose to bring them into the world.

  • Aileen
    May 14, 2013

  • Making judgment on a conversation that one wasn’t involved in seems a bit out of integrity. Overhearing a conversation doesn’t give anyone carte blanche to make any assumptions about what is really going on in that woman’s life. Maybe she isn’t telling her companion that she has been trying to get pregnant for years, but has had no success. Maybe she isn’t telling her friend that she cannot have children for any number of reasons. Maybe her husband understands the pain a woman who can’t have her own children can have when it comes to Mother’s Day.

    I speak from experience here. I can’t have babies, and I have always wanted at least four of my own. I adore my nieces and friend’s kids, often working our adult social time in such a way that the kids are always included and honored because they bring me such joy. But Mother’s Day is painful for me since I lost my uterus due to tumors. While celebrating my own mother is a beautiful thing, I realized this year that spending the day celebrating with a large group of extended family is just too painful for me. I’m opting out from now on and I hope they will understand.

    Last night I shared this with another childless friend, who shared that every year her husband makes Mother’s Day a wonderful experience for her. He understands that it is painful for her to not have the experience of having a child, and after trying for so long, they have decided not to adopt.

    I don’t want to make anyone wrong – opinions are beautiful things, but please consider that there may be something else going on that you aren’t aware of.