I wasn’t one of those expectant moms who labored over a baby name. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I wrote down two baby names I liked–one for a boy, one for a girl. Once I found out I was having a girl, the decision was made. I stuck to that original name and never looked back.
Not everyone is like that, however, and that’s why there are entire sections of bookstores and websites dedicated entirely to choosing the perfect baby name. But you know what? I tend to think the more you grapple with a decision, the more complicated you’re going to make the answer. And I think this is especially true for baby names.
I can understand if you’re going back and forth between two names, but then to overanalyze how to spell it or how it will look on paper… Seriously? I get that your kid will have this for the rest of his/her life, but it’s not rocket science.
Given some of the names I’ve seen popping up recently, I thought I’d offer some helpful tips to all you moms struggling to find the perfect baby name. If you find yourself considering names that fall into one of the following categories, slowly back away. You’re headed for a bad baby name…
1. It has punctuation in it. There’s really no reason for your kid’s name to have an apostrophe in it. Same goes for periods, commas and hyphens. You’re definitely overcomplicating things and should probably just pick something simple like Ann.
2. It’s a food. This also include food brands. Just because you love Pepsi or craved apples all throughout your pregnancy doesn’t mean it’s a sign that you’ve come across the perfect baby name. It should go without saying, but alcoholic beverages are also a no-no. Yes, chardonnay may very well be the reason you ended up pregnant, but your daughter doesn’t need to be reminded of this every time someone says her name.
3. It’s something spelled backwards. Or it’s just spelled incorrectly. I do not get the fascination with naming kids Nevaeh–that’s heaven spelled backwards. It’s hard to pronounce and if you spell something backwards, doesn’t it lose its significance? Same goes for trying to get creative with the spelling of common names. If you like the name Kayla, there’s no need to add extra letters or replace the ones that are already there. Just name your baby Kayla.
4. It was also the name of a genocidal and/or homocidal maniac. I’m sorry if you genuinely like the name Adolf or Osama or Saddam, but you just can’t name your kid that.
5. It sets the bar too high for your kid. I’m sure you’re coming from a good place, but naming your kid Chastity or Saint or even Angel is just a recipe for disaster. What kid wants to live up to that his/her whole life?
6. It’s the name of your favorite reality TV star. Just because she “won” that last fight on Mob Wives or she dresses the best on Bad Girls Club does not mean you should name your kid after her. And FYI, both Chloe and Courtney start with “C”–refer to #3.
What do you think? Any other signs of a bad baby name? How did you choose your baby name? Share in the comments.
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