Rachel Zoe Baby Boy

Why Is It Okay for Dads to Want Sons, But Moms Get a Bad Rap for Wanting a Daughter?

Mom Jeanine
September 9, 2011


Celebrities, Good Question, hot topic, Jeanine Edwards, Skyler Berman

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Don’t ask me what I was doing, but somehow I missed the premiere of the new season of The Rachel Zoe Project earlier this week. I know, how could I miss Rachel Zoe’s baby boy?? Thank goodness for the Internet because I was able to get all caught up over at the Daily Mail. After reading the headline, ‘I cried for a week’: Rachel Zoe reveals she was in tears after finding out she was having a boy,” I obviously had to see the entire story.

Rach is quoted as saying:

“I always had this plan in my mind that I was gonna have this little baby girl… I found out I was having a boy, and I did cry for a week. Or two. Maybe even three.”

You have to appreciate her honesty, right? Maybe not. Some of the commenters are ripping Rachel Zoe apart saying things like, “Is boy not good enough? what a sexist woman” and “And to think that there are people in the world who wouldn’t care WHAT they had if they could only have a child!” Ouch.

While I do sort of agree that maybe Rach did go a little overboard by saying she cried for not one, not two, but three weeks, I also give her props for telling it straight up. When I was pregnant, I tried to psych myself up in the event that I was having a boy. I literally convinced myself that I was having a boy so I could be excited about it when I found out. Turns out I actually had a girl and let me tell you I couldn’t have been more relieved. Of course my #1 concern was a healthy baby, but I did secretly want a daughter.

And I don’t think Rachel Zoe and I are alone. I bet it’s totally normal and natural for moms to want daughters. In addition to having someone to dress up and take to the salon, it’s probably easier for women to relate to their daughters because they’ve been there.

But for some reason women seem to get bashed and judged way more harshly for wanting girls than men do for wanting sons. What gives? I’m not buying that crap about carrying on the family line or maintaining the last name because most men will tell you they want a son they can play catch with or bring to football games. Basically, the exact same reasons women want daughters.

What’s your take? Do you think it’s okay to want a boy or a girl? Did you want one or the other? Share your opinion in the comments.

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  • Debbie
    September 9, 2011

  • Totally agree! I definitely wanted a little girl when I was pregnant with my first, and was so happy when I got her. After I had my next two boys, I really did wish my 4th and last would be another girl (even things out, etc.). But alas that was not the case. Does that mean I love my last little boy any less? Absolutely not! Does that mean that I am mourning the fact that I will never again have a little girl to dress up (my 8 year-old picks all of her own clothes out) or to play dollies with? Absolutely! It’s not the fact that we are unhappy with the little being that we bring into this world, it’s the stuff that goes along with a certain gender. And don’t tell me you can play/do anything regardless of the gender, because after 4 kids I have learned that outside of maybe picking up a doll once in a while, boys don’t want to play dollies, and while my little girl might have played cars and trains for a brief second, she did not play them all the time like my little boys have done. And there’s no way I could ever dress up any of my boys in a head band and a tutu :)

  • Roxy
    September 9, 2011

  • I can understand why people would get upset with her confession, but I too appreciate her honesty.

    I think it’s totally normal to want a particular gender. There is nothing wrong with wanting a girl or a boy.

    I think regardless of what a mom gets, she’s happy to get a healthy baby.

  • Gigi
    September 9, 2011

  • She was honest, doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her little boy or want him. I think it is natural, she probably was nervous about having a boy also because of the unfamiliar territory at least with a girl you have been through it all as a woman so you feel a bit better prepared.
    I think people love to read into things too much, make things darker or juicier when there really isn’t all that much too it. I don’t think for one moment that any of this has an consideration or lack of consideration to those who can not have babies or have lost babies, etc. I think people just need to stop and let her have her opinion, you don’t have to agree but you can’t be ugly and slash the woman to ribbons for her statements and attach your personal take on it.

  • Hannah
    September 9, 2011

  • Jesus, it’s not like she said she refused to hold the baby once he was born because he was a boy! I think it’s natural that certain people lean toward certain preferences. OBVIOUSLY she loves him, and OBVIOUSLY she’s happy, but I think it’s fair for her to be honest in saying that she always thought about having a girl.

    I don’t know what I want… and I’m ok with that reality, too.

  • BabyRecs
    September 9, 2011

  • I felt the same way when I found out I was having my second boy. I always wanted a girl and so did my husband. I love my 2 boys with all my heart but I still wanted a girl. Well we always wanted a 3rd so now I am pregnant but we were convinced it was going to be another boy. Turns out that it’s a girl and we are over the moon but it also does not mean we will love our boys any less. Some people have a preference – unfortunately Rachel Zoe voiced what many people feel but bc she is a celebrity she is getting bashed…unfair!

  • Janel
    September 10, 2011

  • I’m the only girl of 4, my husband is 1 of 5 boys. I was always a very girly girl, and never had any desire to have any boys, and thus far have ended up with three boys! I love them all, but I cried when I found out with eachone of them. Do I feel guilt? Not an ounce! Do I love them? With every fiber of my being! I love Rachel Zoe, and I of course watched the pemier and caught that she cried when she found out that she was having a boy. I immediately looked at my husband and said, I love that she would admit that on TV! Then my husband said, yeah, but you know she going to get going to be criticize for it. And sure enough. I completely understand why she wanted a girl, she’s Rachel Zoe, umm hello! But, I’m certain that after she got over the initial shock and after she saw his little face, she was as happy as she would have been with a girl. I know I am.

  • Jo
    September 11, 2011

  • Oh my goodness! No way, I was the opposite!!!! All I want are boys!!! I prayed so hard that I would have a boy & thank God he listened to my prayers. I was a very rebellious teenager, mom always said wait till you have girls! Scared the be-jeepers out of me!!!! ha ha ha ha plus I love being the princess! I have a female teacup pomeranian, between us that’s enough estrogen in this house! lol

  • TaraName (required)
    November 2, 2011

  • I was so excited when I found out I was having a girl! Getting preg was not easy. I always wanted a girl. I think girls make great older siblings. 4 years later I was nervous about having a boy. He turned out to be a warm sweet baby. I am lucky to have one of each. I make sure they are treated equally, hugs and kisses for both. Refer to both as “cute”. Oh, I do not go to salons. I like science and art museums.