Michelle Duggar | 20 Kids

How Many Kids Is Too Many?

Mom Jeanine
November 10, 2011

5 Comments »

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Good Question, hot topic, Jeanine Edwards

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Growing up, I always said I wanted six kids. I dreamed of being a stay at home mom and having a huge family. But then I had my first kid and now I’m not so sure I even want two children. I know lots of moms with multiple kids say they love their children equally and that your love multiplies with subsequent children, but I’d hate to have a second child and have that kid feel like he/she could never have as close of a relationship as I have with my daughter.

At the other end of the spectrum, of course, is Michelle Duggar. A lot of people have come out to criticize her and her husband for choosing to have their 20th child. And rightfully so, if you ask me. I’m not convinced I could show enough love to two kids, so I have my doubts that she could devote enough time and attention to 20 plus her husband.

But that being said, I’m not so sure her decision to have 20 kids makes her a “bad mom.” Yes, it’s a little freakish that someone would opt to deliver a baby, whether vaginally or by C-section, 20 times but it’s her body and by this point she knows what she’s getting herself into. If she wants to 20 kids or even 25 kids and can financially and psychologically carry that burden, should we really look down on her?

I will fully grant you that the Duggars’ situation is initially alarming. It still kind of freaks me out to think she had 20 babies–the stork didn’t deliver them, after all. And the logistics of caring for, feeding, housing 21 people is insane. But can anyone else really say she has too many kids? I mean, how many kids is too many? Is there some sort of biological marker that goes off internally when enough is enough? Or should it be family decision to stop at 2 kids or 3 or 22? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Comments

  • Qtpies7
    November 10, 2011

  • If a family is not chronically on government support, their kids are happy, healthy, and not criminals, nobody has any right to say anything about their choices. Birth control and sex lives are PRIVATE, and it is none of anyone else’s business.
    As far as loving your kids goes, did you see how happy theirs kids were at the news of a new sibling? They clearly value family and feel loved and joyous. You can’t feel joyous at a new sibling if there is not enough love being given already. They are doing a fabulous job! Their kids are not a drain on society, and in fact, seem to be very active in missionary/charitable works. They don’t use government assistance at all, not even WIC. Their kids are not criminals. They are not trouble makers. They are obviously happy. In fact, the oldest child and his wife from a similar background clearly loved their life growing up in a large family and are aiming to do the same thing.

  • Denise B.
    November 10, 2011

  • Here’s my two cents.

    It’s their decision and God’s will. It’s no one else’s business, and it’s pretty mean and childish for people criticizing them and making negative remarks. What gives these people the right to pass judgement on someone else.

    I admire their lifestyle. Their children appear to have a better upbringing and childhood than most children today. They homeschool, built their own house, have no debt, support themselves, etc.

    However, the bottom line remains that it’s no one else’s business!

  • Jessica
    November 10, 2011

  • They actually are on government support. They have tax payer funded healthcare. No way they would be able to afford healthcare for 22 people on their own dime.

  • Mary Margaret
    November 10, 2011

  • I completely disagree. The minute they decided to get paid to entertain Americans, they lost the right to their “privacy.” Just like Tiger Woods lost the right to have affairs without other people’s judgement and involvement. If they are going to make money off of being in the public eye, then they have opened up their lives to other people’s opinions, like it or not. They make a living off of exploiting their family, so for others to say their lives should be kept private is ironic and ludicrous.

    I am sure that they are good parents; they certainly seem to be. But I think having a 20th baby at 45 years old is reckless. Health issues for both the mother and child get much more abundant and likely at that age, and she has 19 other children and a husband to consider should anything happen. She is blessed, yes, to have had no major complications and I think she should not have pressed her luck. I hope nothing is wrong but as many of us how have had trouble having even two healthy children can tell you that you shouldn’t take anything for granted.

    At this point it has to be for the sake of their show. They seem addicted to having children and the attention that comes with it.

  • Jill T
    November 16, 2011

  • Holding people up in high esteem who breed like animals is disgusting. People only think those kids are well adjusted but they are NOT. They live in relative isolation from the real world and the older kids are raising the younger kids. The only reason they look happy is because they don’t know better.