5 Lies I Refuse to Tell My Kid… Does This Make Me a Bad Mom??

5 Lies I Refuse to Tell My Kid… Does This Make Me a Bad Mom??

Mom Jeanine
November 11, 2011

5 Comments »

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10 Things..., Good Question, hot topic, Jeanine Edwards

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It’s no secret that I have a very close relationship with my 3-year-old daughter so it shouldn’t come as that big of a surprise that I’m typically very open and honest with her. Yes, of course, I do sometimes lie–but for the most part, I like to give it to her straight.

But that means when other kids spout off the lies their parents told them about Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy, my little girl is right there correcting them. Whoops.

I’ve never considered myself an active non-conformist, but I just can’t bring myself to tell my daughter these ridiculous lies.

1. Santa brings your Christmas presents. I go with the whole Santa thing up until a point. My daughter believes I have access to this mysterious man and I can tell him whether or not she’s been good. But she also believes that Santa just gives the okay and I’m the one who actually provides the gifts on Christmas morning.

2. You came out of my stomach. This kind of happened by accident when my daughter saw a picture from when I was in labor with her. Ever since then, she knows where babies come from–and doesn’t pass up the opportunity to share this information with anyone who’ll listen.

3. Your daddy is coming back home. Yes, it would be nice to give my daughter hope that maybe possibly one day she could live under the same roof with her mom and her dad, but given the current state of things it’s just not happening. And as cruel as it seems, I refuse to give her any false hope. Better she come to terms with it now, then go on believing the impossible could still happen.

4. You’re going to be a big sister one day. Because the honest truth is I’m not sure I will have more children. As nice as it would be for my daughter to have a playmate, I don’t think only children have it that bad. Plus, isn’t that what school is for? To make friends you can hang out with when you want to, but then come home and be the object of all your parents’ love and attention without any competition.

5. Needles don’t hurt. Gosh, I remember having a paralyzing fear of needles as a child because my parents would say, “Oh, it’s not going to hurt that much. It’s just like a little pinch.” Umm, no it’s not. And yes it does hurt that much. And that’s just what I tell my daughter whenever we have to go to the doc for a visit. “Yes, the shot will hurt, but it won’t hurt forever, just for a few minutes. And yes, after you get the shot, we can go have ice cream.” I said I don’t lie about it–I never said anything about bribes.

What about you? Are there any lies you just refuse to tell your kid? Share in the comments.

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Comments

  • Rosanna mangone
    November 11, 2011

  • I like to read your post and I agree on many points. I live in the burbs currently but I am an Urban creature and was born and raised in New York City so I still (most days) consider myself fairly hip. Your Santa comments are ridiculous. I will chalk it up to your age becasue I am assuming you are younger than my 42 years. Life is so hard why spoil that small window of absolute magic for a child (and adult for that matter). My boys are 8 and I have a 3 year old too. It is UNBELIEVABLE how quickly those 8 years went and I can sense my boys are losing their innocence and it is heartbreaking. The other point is kids dont know how to keep thier mouths shut why ruin it for other children in your circle and that will happen. All this kid stuff is so fleeting and should be cherised every single day. I am so cynical in nature and my life (for me is so hard) I go above and beyond making my kids life a bit fun because adulthood is right around the corner.

  • Bob
    November 11, 2011

  • I agree. I feel guilty when I lie about Santa and little things like that, but easing my conscience isn’t worth destroying the magic for her while it lasts.

  • Betty
    November 11, 2011

  • I can’t disagree wtih you more on the Christmas aspect. To see my daughter’s face light up knowing that Santa brought her all these great toys for Christmas is priceless. I know it’s a bubble that will burst one day but to live your childhood with that magice is worth more than anything.

  • Emma
    November 11, 2011

  • I feel like those who felt like their parents LIED to them about Santa must have had some elaborate stuff done, because I don’t really even remember any big life-altering moment where I found out the truth. I was happy to have parents who cared so much for me that they made it fun. Why wouldn’t a parent want to make it fun? Santa is all about fun, giving, and tradition. What’s so wrong about that? Kids without the ability to imagine and delve into a pretend life miss out on so much, and never fully “get” that joy that other kids feel. I see that in my daughter’s classmates, and they get angry and have to “prove” princesses and fairies don’t exist, etc. Why is make-believe now considered a “lie?”
    I agree with all your other points, but I side with the “let kids be kids” viewpoint on Santa and such.

  • JDog
    November 14, 2011

  • I’m with you on the Santa thing. Maybe some kids have this sense of magical wonder when it comes to the man in the big red suit, but I grew up as the child of immigrants, in a household where Santa just seemed like some weird cultural delusion. Not that I was running around spoiling it for other kids, but I certainly don’t think I missed out on anything as a result of my parents not creating the Santa fantasty for me as a kid.

    As a parent, I don’t see myself emphasizing the whole Santa myth with my own kids. In fact, I’d prefer that my kids understand that gifts are not something that appear magically overnight, but rather are an expression of love and caring from one human being to another. The act of giving is, to me, a much more wondrous and magical moment, and much more what I’d like to teach my child the season is about, than a mythical fat man in a red suit.