10 Tips Before You Have Second Child

10 Things to Know Before You Have a Second Child

momfarah
August 29, 2011

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10 Things to Know Before Having a Second Child

1. No two pregnancies are the same. Just because pregnancy #1 was smooth sailing, doesn’t mean you’ll have the same experience with the second. I learned that the hard way. My first pregnancy was textbook smooth, but number 2? I had morning sickness day and night for the first six months.

2. The same is true for conception. I got pregnant with my son after trying for one month, and my daughter? Let’s just say my kids are almost five years apart. It was difficult and frustrating, especially considering how easy it was to get pregnant the first time, and as luck would have it, I found out I was pregnant the same week I had my first appointment with a fertility doctor.  Should’ve made that appointment sooner.

3. Don’t be surprised if they don’t look alike. I know this may sound silly, but I was shocked how different my daughter looked from her brother when she was born. For some reason I expected them to look like twins.

4. Piggy backing on #3, don’t expect your kids to have the same temperament and personality. My son screamed bloody murder at night for his first nine months. My daughter? She was an easy, happy, Zen-like baby and slept peacefully 6-7 hours straight when she was a newborn.

5. If your firstborn gave you a hard time when she was a baby, consider yourself lucky. It gives you thicker skin to handle all the things that baby #2 throws your way (literally and figuratively).  If you have the opposite experience, good luck!  But just think, baby #3 and #4 will be a breeze!

6. Having a second child will change your lifestyle, so say sayonara to your daily routine, at least for the first few weeks or maybe months. You’ll be stretched to the limit so accept help from anyone who offers and ask for help whenever you need a hand.

7. You remember how your newborn took over your life?  Well, it will happen again with #2, so make sure to spend a few special moments with your first child every day regardless of how exhausted you are.  And way before your second child arrives, prepare big bro or big sis for the changes to come.  Oh, and on a practical note, don’t forget to make arrangements for big bro or sis during those first few days.  Where will he stay while you are at the hospital?  Who will take him to preschool?

8. Babies are expensive (as if you didn’t know!), so if your first child’s stroller, high chair, infant car seat, etc. is in good shape, use it again for #2. And all those cute baby clothes s/he only used once or twice? Can you say hand-me-downs?

9. Having two kids is double the work of one, but it’s worth every moment–good and bad.  There’s nothing more special than a sibling relationship, and besides, you’ve done it before and practice makes perfect.

10. Not sure if you’re ready for a second child but are thinking about it?  It probably means you’re ready.  Or else you wouldn’t be thinking about it in the first place!

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Comments

  • SDL
    August 30, 2011

  • I agree with a couple of points, and overall this piece gives a lot of good advice (especially about the pregnancies being different, and the babies’ temperaments). I would have to add a few things though: #1-although the babies might look different, they also might look identical. My second son completely shocked me by how much he looked like his brother – in photos, I have difficulty telling which was which, especially since he wore most of his brother’s hand-me-downs and used his baby stuff. They even have the exact same mannerisms. #2 – I had the opposite experience with conception – it took me 4 years to get pregnant the first time, and one month the second time (meaning my kids are WAY closer in age than I thought they would be! A nice surprise in hindsight, and I’m really glad they will be so close as they grow up.) It just shows that anything can happen – expect the unexpected I guess!

  • Michelle
    August 31, 2011

  • This article was informative and reassuring to me. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I just found out I’m pregnant with my second child. I’m only nine weeks, but I can agree with points 1 and 2. My first pregnancy, I had morning sickness (morning, day, and night) for the first 6 months. This second time around has (so far) been morning sickness free. As for #2, I had the same problem. I was shocked at how quick I became pregnant with my daughter. We have been trying for another child since she was born, but she will be almost 5 when the new baby gets here.