10 Things I Will Never–Ever–Buy My Child…

10 Things I Will Never–Ever–Buy My Child…

Mom Jeanine
August 16, 2011


10 Things..., Good Question, hot topic, Jeanine Edwards

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It’s that time of year when moms like me are frantically buying any and everything their kid might need for the new school year. I’ve already splurged on more fall clothes than my daughter actually needs, but I am proud to say I do have my limits. There are things I just hands-down refuse to by my daughter. From booty-licious jeans to beauty products, here are 10 products you should consider boycotting, too:

1. Apple Bottoms jeans. Or Apple Bottoms anything for that matter. I’ve written about this before and I stand by it. As long as I’m paying for my daughter’s clothes, she will never–ever–wear Apple Bottoms jeans. If you ask me, there is no reason for a toddler or little girl to be walking around with bedazzled apples on her behind.

2. Triangle bikinis. This is also something I’ve complained about before. If we’re honest, the point of a triangle bikini is to be a little sexy. And if you’re an adult, it’s fine to choose to wear something that’s sexy. But my 3-year-old? Uh-uh. There’s just no reason for my toddler to be prancing around the beach with her tummy and chest exposed.

3. A leash. I know there are some moms who are adamant about child leashes–err, safety harnesses–but I am not one of them. I would say I have a fairly rambunctious toddler on my hands and our primary mode of transportation is walking. I will admit it is a pain sometimes to keep up with her, but not once have I ever considered strapping her into a harness. If you ask me, leashes are for dogs, not children.

4. Designer denim. $100 for a pair of toddler jeans is just plain crazy in my opinion. I don’t spend that kind of money on my own jeans, let alone my child’s. And what happens when your kid grows 3 inches over the next 3 months? Do the jeans grow, too? For $100, they should. Just saying.

5. Johnson’s Baby Care products. I am in no way an eco-maniac, but I will never use Johnson’s baby wash, lotion or shampoo on my daughter again. Why? All of their products–and lots of others–contain trace amounts of formaldehyde and 1,4-dioxane, which the FDA has encouraged manufacturers to remove. I’ve heard the argument that our parents used it on us, so it must be okay but I’m not buying it. There’s just no way I’m washing my infant or toddler with something that contains the same chemical used to preserve the pig I dissected in junior high. Especially not when there are so many amazing all-natural alternatives.

6. A Burberry lunch box. Because it costs $195. Enough said.

7. Kidz Bop CDs. It still amazes me how well these CDs do. I literally stopped in my tracks a few weeks back when I heard that the latest Kidz Bop CD was #2 on the Billboard charts. Although I completely get why these CDs appeal to parents, I’ll never be the mom who actually buys them for my kids… mostly because just hearing the commercial makes me want to reach for earplugs.

8. A “big kid” carrier. Although my daughter is tall for her age, she doesn’t put those long legs to use with long strides. Nope, she walks so slowly. A walk that takes me 3 minutes alone takes 15 minutes when I’m walking with her. I briefly considered putting her back in a carrier–she is under the 40 lb weight limit, after all–but quickly came back to my senses. Why on earth would anyone want to carry an extra 40 lbs on their back (or front)? Just leave the house earlier, dude.

9. Baby gear that costs more than $250. $1000 stroller? Never. $800 crib? Nope. $300 high chair? I don’t think so. I did not splurge on any of my daughter’s baby gear and you know what? I have no regrets. Why? Because 90% of what I bought to use during that first year I’m not using anymore. Had I spent $1000 on a Bugaboo, I would still be cramming my toddler into a stroller intended for an infant. But because I only spent $150 on her stroller, it’s perfectly fine with me that the thing is collecting dust in my parent’s garage.

10. A monogrammed backpack. Last year my doctor scared the crap out of me when I showed up to my daughter’s 2-year appointment with her monogrammed backpack. My pediatrician–who is usually very low-key–went on this huge rant about how once someone knew my daughter’s name it was that much easier to lure her away. I’ve been sufficiently scared to monogram anything else ever since.

What about you? Are there products you absolutely refuse to buy your children? Weigh in in the comments.

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  • K
    August 16, 2011

  • You must only have on child, and we can’t all be a perfect mother like you. I find that MomFinds definitely writes articles with a snobby tone. I have never put my 14mo old on a leash, but if you have multiple children all around the same age or the same age you might need a leash. And don’t be one of those people that says “leave the kids at home if you have to put them on a leash” because lets face it, kids go stir crazy, and so do moms so sometimes you need to get out of the house. My daughter is little and will run the opposite way I am going. Imagine that times 2 or 3.
    Carrier- Hey Dude…maybe you don’t have time to leave earlier. Again, my daughter wants nothing to do with a carrier, but if you have to strap a kid to your back, so be it. What’s the harm in that?
    Monogramming – While I do agree that you shouldn’t personalize backpacks with the child’s name there is nothing wrong with monogramming with initials.

    You should keep in mind that you have a 3 year old, preschool age child, not a baby. So telling everyone that they shouldn’t get a leash, carrier, or an expensive stroller is not really your business anymore since these products are for toddlers and babies. If you are still using 90% of the baby gear you bought the first year with your 3 year old, that would be a little strange.

  • Gaby
    August 16, 2011

  • This article is absolutely absurd and the person who wrote it better change her attitude! Who she thinks she is to use the language she does??!!!
    It is her personal choice not to buy a stroller that costs $1000 and who cares of what she thinks??
    The only point of the article I agree with is that you should not monogram your child’s visible accessories with his/her name. But you can definitely do the first letter.
    And once again, just because she does not care about quality does not mean that other parents should do the same. I LOvE and use every single day our comfortable Stokke stroller that costs $1300 and will never consider buying any other if I had to do it all over. So just keep your opinion for yourself lady!!!!

  • L
    August 16, 2011

  • I guess it would freak you out if I told you me my husband and our toddler go together to the nudie beach pushing an amazing strollers an holding Burberry towells while little one walks leashed next to us.

    That’s funny that you write this here since this website is MomFINDS and it sure sends us designer stuff deals too.

    Anyways …. Thank God I live in and area were people are open minded…

    Ohhh and I forgot to mention our monogramed sun canopy!

  • April Yedinak
    August 16, 2011

  • I am surprised at how defensive some of the other posts are. I don’t agree with some of this post, but I didn’t take it personally. It is someone’s opinion, something every parent should be used to by now. I think the apples on the jeans are cute and I don’t find them sexualizing and I usually AM offended by the bulk of clothing offered for young girls- belly tops and crotch-length mini-skirts for 8 year olds (shriek). My youngest daughter had a triangle bikini and on her 5 year old frame it was cute and I can only see it as sexual to a perv and frankly a parka still wouldn’t deter them. I used a harness on my two oldest kids after one of them broke away and outran my very fat and pregnant butt to the road and nearly got hit by a car. I don’t believe in spending a ton of money on kids clothes or baby stuff, because it is unnecessary, but I don’t begrudge people that can afford it. I like Johnson’s and we have had many a skin reaction to ‘all natural’ products, so I stick with what gets the baby vomit smell off my infant without causing a rash, but I respect someone else’s decision to use other products. I agree wholeheartedly about the Kidzbop CD’s, I believe in exposing my kids to all kinds of good music and this just isn’t good. And as for monogramming, I think it is kind of like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, if a nut wants your kid, the monogram will make little difference. While the thought of anything happening to any child is horrifying and I never want to discount the feelings of those that have endured it, the fact is that despite the omnipresent media that would have us think otherwise, children are safer now than they have ever been in history.

  • R
    August 16, 2011

  • I dont agree with the stroller. I’m a runner. I need my child to be comfortable while I log miles (yes as in more than one or two for the matter). So, yes I splurged on my stroller but I still use it till this day and race with it frequently. So, it shouldnt be looked down upon. Im really disappointed that this website allowed this article to be printed. It has a very negative undertone and it seems to be “bashing” mothers out there that do these things. I like the tip about monogramming a whole name, but everything else was very condescending.

  • Sheila
    August 16, 2011

  • While I agree with a portion of this article, it offends me like a Bill O’Reily rant. And while I typically think the MomFinds articles are written to start intelligent discussion, and encourage varying opinions, this article does not read as such. “…but quickly came back to my senses,” and, “Enough said,” are just two phrases that imply there is no respect for someone else’s reasons or opinion.

  • Shari
    August 16, 2011

  • Chill people. This is just someone’s opinion. And, if there are things I don’t agree with, fine. However, I DID learn something from the list. I never knew about Johnson Baby Products. I’m throwing them out when I get home. And, monogramming on backpacks, etc. Never thought about it, but she is right. Why risk it?

    And, what’s up with all you people who only put your first initial. At least own up to your posting with a full name….even if it’s not actually your name!

    Oh and one more thing…..”L”…please learn how to spell and use correct grammar. Not sure you are educated enough to make a posting.

  • Donna
    August 16, 2011

  • I think this list is silly – Obviously a triangle bathing suit on a 3 year old is just cute. To think or say anything else is weird. Ditto the apple bottom jeans. Want to be frugal? I respect that. But to say some of the things is just odd.

  • J
    August 18, 2011

  • I understand this is one mom’s opinion, but it does come off as uber-preachy and in general not the sort of tone I would expect from MomFinds, one of my favorite blogs. Very funny that she poo-poos the very name brand luxury items that MomFinds often features.

  • lulu
    September 24, 2011

  • Well, in case some of you guys didnt notice…the name of this article is “Things I will never buy my child.” Do we all see the keyword there? I. I is the keyword. using “I” points out that this is an opinion piece. This article is not named “Things I will never buy my child…AND YOU SHOULDNT EITHER!!!” Nor is it titled “Things you should never buy your child.”

    Loosen..the motherf*ck up. Seriously.